


Sleepless Nights

by c0cunt



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Gen, Jean's not a happy camper, writer's not a happy camper either
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-19
Updated: 2015-07-19
Packaged: 2018-04-10 05:01:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4378109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/c0cunt/pseuds/c0cunt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jean's been coping.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sleepless Nights

 

There's something rough and cracked, almost broken, in the back of Jean's mind. The one series of jagged edges that he absolutely refuses to poke around. Not during the day, at least.

  
But every night, when he attempts to sleep, curled up in the dirty sheets that haven't been washed since they were thrown onto his mattress, he presses against those edges. Lovingly caresses them. Bleeds just a little bit more for them, before he gives in and drinks himself to sleep.

  
The nights he couldn't sleep, even after drinking, were the worst. Sharp memories, roses' thorns, would swirl through his thoughts, ripping him apart, and force their way forward. Fractured bits of conversations that should've, could've, happened ringing in his ears. Bitter, angry tears, that wouldn't dry until morning's light, crawling slowly down his face.

  
He's been this way for five years. Five very long, very painful years. Nothing has been able to really help him, nothing that he could afford. Therapy was too expensive for him, but his very tight budget could afford something strong enough to get him to sleep most nights.

  
It'll be okay, one day, Jean attempts to fool himself into thinking each morning. Maybe for a few minutes he falls for the lie, willfully, as he locks the pain away to deal with that night. Then he rolls out of bed, aching worse than before he fell into it, and stares at what he hasn't been able to get himself to remove, which still haunts him no matter the time.

  
At least the face in the photo complete, and not torn in half.


End file.
